Computer Humor

To me, the Number 1 rule of computers is to have and keep a sense of humor. Following are a sampling of the computer humor I have collected over the years.

Wuzzy’s Wisdom, Computer Humor

Sometimes it’s Funny … Sometimes it’s Snot

There are at least five different ways of doing any single thing in a Windows-operated computer. I know a few – you know a few. Mine work for me – yours work for you.

If you don’t screw up your computer at least once, someone else will.

Your computer will crash just before you attempt to save that document you have been working on for 45 minutes and right before the presentation that requires that document.

There is always a faster computer.

Never squat on your power strip.

Two weeks after you purchase your new computer, printer, PDA, automobile, etc., a new model is released that is faster and less expensive.

Spell-checking dos knot replace common cents.

The length of a minute depends upon which side of the bathroom door you are standing OR when waiting for your PC to boot up.

If you have Automatic Updates turned on, you are letting the software vendor determine what is good for you. Maybe this is OK – maybe not.

Your computer will need maintenance sooner or later. Remember the old Texaco commercial – “You can pay now or you can pay later”. Either you or I or someone else will be paying sooner or later.

“F-Disk” will remove any virus (if you don’t know what F-Disk is, please don’t experiment).

You can spend $1,500 on a PC system that will sound the same as a $100 Boom Box.

If you Password Protect every single operation on your computer, you will never get anything done – AND – you may need to spend money on a Password Reset program.

If the capacity of your Hard Drive is over 50% full, it is time to start managing excess files. If it is over 75% full, it is time to start looking for additional drive space. (Are you backing up all this data that you have accumulated?) Do NOT wait until you are out of drive space to attempt a resolution.

Free Cell – A Free Diagnostic

A long time ago, I was sent to a manufacturer of CAD/CAM devices to develop maintenance training.

One of their diagnostics tools was a flight simulator game. The idea was that if all modules of the Flight Simulator worked, then the system was operational.

My management had a problem with this in that they didn’t want the techs to be “playing games”. I remember my response being, “Who said you can’t have fun while you’re working?”

I use the game Free Cell to get an indication of how my PC is performing. As you may know, if you play this game when you have quite a few cards remaining and they are all lined up in columns, uncovering one card can cause the rest of the cards to be played automatically.

If these cards “zip” up to the finish, I know my PC is working pretty good. If the cards do not “zip” up, then something is going on that may need to be diagnosed.